Ho se lumellane ha tumellano: Ho lekola meeli e phephetsang

Lilemong tsa morao tjena, puisano ea "tumellano e sa lumellaneng," kapa "CNC," e ntse e ata haholo lefats'eng la kink le sadomasochism (BDSM). Mehopolo ea CNC ke boithuto ba matla, le ho ts'oara maikutlo a ho fana ka matla ohle, le ho ipeha matsohong a e mong. Le ha mohopolo ona o tšosa ba bang, ho ba bang hore ts'abo e fetohela leqhubu le matla la boits'oaro.

Ho hlonama le ho hlonama ho hlalosa batho ba ikopantseng kapa ba utloang bohloko e le karolo ea sehlopha sa bona sa thobalano. Patlisiso ea sejoale-joale e fana ka maikutlo a hore litšobotsi tsa ho batla thabo, ho fetella le ho buleha ho ba le boiphihlelo ke litšobotsi tsa mantlha tsa botho tse hohelang batho ho etsa boits'oaro bo joalo ka BDSM (Brown, Barker & Rahman, 2019; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). Joalo ka ha batho ba bang ba hohela "adrenaline" -ho itlosa bolutu joaloka skydiving ha ba bang ba rata ho loha, batho ba bang ba hohela boitšoaro bo matla ba thobalano, ha ba bang ba khetha ho etsa lerato ka khutso.

Boitšoaro ba thobalano bo kenyelletsang ho shapa le likarolo tsa matla, mabifi kapa ho busa li atile haholo ebile ha li amane le bokuli kapa pherekano ea maikutlo (mohlala, Joyal, 2015). Ka tloaelo, mekhoeng ea boits'oaro ea BDSM, ho na le batho ba etsang boits'oaro bo matla, bo matla, bo mabifi kapa ba khalemelo. Bakeng sa ba bang, taolo ea kelello kapa "lihlooho tsa sehlooho" ke karolo ea mantlha ea boiphihlelo, eo ka eona motho ea ikokobelitseng a qobelloang ho ba le maikutlo a matla, a matla a tšabo, matšoenyeho, esita le ho nyonya, ha a ntse a le maemong a kamano e ts'epahalang, e buisanoang le tumellano. Le ha BDSM le CNC hangata e le tsa thobalano, boits'oaro bona ka linako tse ling bo ka kenyelletsa feela ho lekola matla, ho se na kamano e totobetseng ea thobalano.

Tumello ea boits'oaro ba sadomasochistic ke ho fumana lipatlisiso tsa morao-rao (mohlala, Carvalho, Freitas & Rosa, 2019), mme ho na le mefuta e fapaneng kapa meralo ea tumello e sebelisitsoeng ho BDSM, ho kenyelletsa: "Safe, Sane and Consensual," "Risk Aware Consensual Kink , ”“ Tlhokomelo, Puisano, Tumello le Tlhokomelo, ”le“ Tumello e Tsoelang Pele ”(Santa Lucia, 2005; Williams, Thomas, Prior & Christensen, 2014). Batho ba nkang karolo ho BDSM e hlophisitsoeng ba tloaetse ho tseba haholoanyane ka lintlha tse fapaneng tsa tumello, 'me ba tseba ho buisana ka tumello (Mohl. Dunkley & Brotto, 2019), leha tlolo ea tumello le litlhaselo tsa thobalano li ntse li etsahala ka har'a lihlopha tsena. "Safewords" ke karolo ea lipuisano tsa ts'ebetso ea BDSM, eo ka eona batho ka bomong ba khethollang tsela (lentsoe kapa boitšisinyo bo sa sebeliseng mantsoe) eo ba ka emisang ts'ebetso ka eona ha ba ka ba le khatello ea maikutlo, hape e ba lumellang ho re "che" le ho hanela kapa ho loana. , ntle le ho phethela tšebetso.

"Ho se lumellane ha tumellano" ho hlalosa ho etsa boits'oaro bo ka kenyelletsang boits'oaro bo sa nke karolo, kapa ho ka kenyelletsa ho buisana ka boitšoaro ba thobalano moo molekane e mong a lumelang ho fana ka tumello nakong ea boits'oaro bo itseng kapa likamano. Mohlala, hona ho ka kenyelletsa batho ba hlalosetsang balekane ba bona kapa bao e ka bang balekane ba bona hore ba nahana ka ho koeteloa le ho betoa mme balekane ba lumela ho etsa sena e le papali ea papali ea "bophelo" ba 'nete, ho phethahatsa mohopolo o lakatsehang. "CNC" e hlalosa mokhoa oo batho ka bomong ba lumellanang esale pele hore na boits'oaro ba motsotsoana bo sa amaneng le papali-papali li tla kenyeletsa eng. Ho se lumellane ka tumello ho emela mofuta oa batho ba behang boikarabello le taolo matsohong a motho e mong mme ba ba mema hore ba sutumetse motho eo ho feta meeli ea bona kapa ho nka boikarabello ba ho hlola litšitiso tsa kahare tsa moamoheli ho kenella boitšoarong bo lakatsehang. Ho se lumellane ka tumellano, ha e le hantle, ho bonts'a mokhoa o fetelletseng oa ho ho hloka matla.

Ho na le lipuisano tse fokolang haholo ka CNC lipatlisisong le lingoliloeng tsa bongaka. Khopolo e amanang le "litoro tsa papali ea peto" e batlisisitsoe haholo, ha lipatlisiso li bontša hore e atile haholo. Boithuto bo fapaneng bo fana ka maikutlo a hore lipakeng tsa 30-60% ea basali ba tlaleha litoro tsa thobalano tsa ho betoa, ho hlekefetsoa kapa ho nkuoa ka thobalano khahlano le thato ea bona, hoo e ka bang halofo ba tlaleha hore litoro tse joalo li a ba tsosa ebile li ntle ho bona (mohlala, Bivona & Critelli, 2009) . Ha ho na leseli le lenyane mabapi le hore na ke basali ba bakae ba kenyelletsang litoro tse joalo liketsong tsa bona tsa thobalano joalo ka papali-papali. Basali ba bangata ba tšaba hore ho arolelana likhopolo tse joalo ho ka lebisa ho bona ba betoa, kapa ho batho ba lumelang hore ba hlile ba batla ho ba le tlhekefetso ea thobalano, e leng seo ba sa se batleng (Bivona & Critelli, 2009). Ha banyalani ba leka ho kenyelletsa papali ea papali ea peto litabeng tsa bona tsa thobalano, e ka ba ntho e rarahaneng, e fokolang, empa hangata e putsa ebile e ntle. (Johnson, Stewart le Farrow, 2019)

Mokhatlo oa Naha oa Tokoloho ea Thobalano o entse phuputso ho batho ba amehang ho BDSM ho fuputsa boholo le tlolo ea tumello ho ba sebelisang BDSM. Har'a batho ba fetang likete tse 'ne ba arabelitsoeng, 29% e tlalehile nalane ea tlolo ea tumello, ho qala ka ho phaphatha le ho ama ho kenella kahare ho thobalano. Ba etsang liphesente tse mashome a mane ba ile ba tlaleha hore ba ithaopetse ho shebella le ho itšoara ka mokhoa oa CNC, moo "motho a le mong kapa ba fetang ba ileng ba tela tokelo ea ho tlosa tumello nakong eohle ea ketsahalo eo." Ho ba neng ba kentse CNC, ke 14% feela ba tlalehileng hore meeli ea bona ea lipuisano e seng e sentsoe sebakeng sa CNC kapa kamano, e neng e le halofo ea sekhahla sa tlolo ea tumello e tlalehiloeng sampoleng ka kakaretso. Ke 22% feela ea batho ba etsang boits'oaro ba CNC ba tlalehileng hore ba kile ba ba le litlolo tsa tumello ka nako efe kapa efe, ha li bapisoa le 29% ea sampole ka kakaretso. Bangoli ba fana ka maikutlo a hore "puisano e eketsehileng le lipuisano tse hlokahalang ho kenella ho CNC ke e 'ngoe ea linotlolo tsa ho fumana tumello e nang le tsebo e felletseng." (Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, 2015., leq. 20)

Likamano tsa "lekhoba le hloahloa" ke mokhoa o tloahelehileng oa likamano tse sa lumellaneng tsa BDSM, moo batho ba buisanang ka kamano e lumellanang moo molekane e mong a lumellang e mong ho laola likarolo tsohle tsa bophelo ba hae. Likamano tsa makhoba le makhoba ha li fumanehe hangata, empa li teng, 'me li ithutiloe ka 2013 ke Dancer, Kleinplatz le Moser. Ba fumane hore ka ho kenyelletsa liketsahalo tsa bophelo ba letsatsi le letsatsi tse kang mesebetsi ea lapeng le litloaelo tsa letsatsi le letsatsi maemong a phapang ea matla a bophelo ba bona, bankakarolo ba atolositse meeli ea lithahasello tsa bona tsa BDSM ho feta feela liketso tsa thobalano. Leha ho ne ho na le mohopolo le sepheo sa "boikokobetso ka botlalo," "makhoba" a neng a buisane ka tumellano e sa lumellaneng a ntse a sebelisa bolokolohi ba ho ikhethela ha ho hlokahala molemong oa bona. Hoo e ka bang halofo ea "makhoba" thutong ena ba hlalositse hore ba ne ba bile le bokhoni ba ho hana litaelo tsa mong'a bona, hang ha ba kena kamanong ea bona. Liperesente tse mashome a supileng a metso e mene tsa "makhoba" li tlalehile hore ba kile ba itšoara ka tsela eo pele ho neng ho bonahala e sa khonehe ho bona, kaha ba "sutumelitsoe ho feta meeli ea bona" ​​ke mong'a bona.

Likamano tse sa lumellaneng tsa tumellano, likamano tsa makhoba le makhoba, litoro tsa papali ea peto, le BDSM ka kakaretso ke likarolo tsa lipuisano tse tsebahalang haholo inthaneteng mecheng ea litaba tsa sechaba. Ka bomalimabe, joalo ka ntho e ngoe le e ngoe e fumanehang marang-rang, lipuisano tsena li ka kenyelletsa tlhaiso-leseling e mpe kapa e fosahetseng joalo ka ha e fana ka mehopolo le lisebelisoa tse phetseng hantle. Litsebi tsa thobalano le lingaka tse joalo ka nna khafetsa ke kopana le batho bao tlhaiso-leseling ea bona ea ho etsa BDSM, CNC, kapa mekhoa e meng ea thobalano e tsoang hohle mehloling ea inthanete, 'me e na le tlhaiso-leseling le litloaelo tse ngata tse belaetsang le tse fosahetseng.

Kutloisiso ea bongaka le ea mahlale ea ho ata, tlhaho le boits'oaro ba litloaelo tsa thobalano tse sa lumellaneng e qalong. Lipatlisiso le mosebetsi oa kliniki ho potoloha litaba tsena li ntse li tsoela pele, empa karolo ena ea boits'oaro ba thobalano le eona ea fetoha ha e ntse e hola, ho etsa hore ho be thata ho tseba kapa ho beha moralo ka botlalo. Ho hlakile hore batho ba bangata ba nahana ka ho ba maemong a thobalano moo ba sitoang ho baleha kapa ho phethela boiphihlelo. Ke batho ba fokolang feela ba etsang boitšoaro bo joalo bophelong ba 'nete ka papali-papali, ha ba bapisoa le litoro, leha ho bonahala ho le thata ho etsa joalo. E entsoe ka tumello, boits'oaro, puisano le puisano, ho bonahala eka ho kopanya mekhoa e lumellanang ea ho se lumele liketsong tsa thobalano e ka ba karolo e phetseng hantle le e khotsofatsang ea thobalano ho batho ba bang, ho ba lumella ho holisa meeli ea bona ea thobalano.

Dunkley, C. & Brotto, L. (2019) Karolo ea tumello maemong a BDSM. Tlhekefetso ea thobalano, DOI: 10.1177 / 1079063219842847

Johnson, Stewart & Farrow (2019) Khopolo-taba ea Tlhekefetso ea Basali: Ho nahana ka likhopolo le likhopolo tsa bongaka ho tsebisa ka tloaelo, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, DOI: 10.1080 / 15332691.2019.1687383

Santa Lucia (2005). Tumello e tsoelang pele. Ho Tsamaiso ea Thobalano, Libuka tsa Carceral, Vol 1. E fumaneha ho: Carceral Notebooks - Journal Volume 1 (thecarceral.org)

Williams, Thomas, Pele le Christensen, (2014). Ho tloha "SSC" le "RACK" ho ea ho "4Cs": Ho hlahisa Moralo o mocha oa ho nka karolo ho nka karolo ha BDSM. Tlaleho ea Elektroniki ea Thobalano ea Batho, Buka ea 17, Phupu 5, 2014

Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, (2015). Patlisiso ea Litlolo tsa Tumello, Tlaleho ea Tech. E fumaneha ho: Patlisiso ea Tlōlo ea Tumello (ncsfreedom.org)